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branching-paths · 5 years ago

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Of Being Goosed And Peppered

I must have dozed off sometime in the night because Thorin was shaking me awake. "Come on Kili, get up," He hissed. I peeled my eyes open and looked up at Thorin. "You and Fili need to get some ponies. Breakfast will be waiting for you when you get back." I sat up and slid my feet into my boots. As I strapped my sword to my belt I walked out into the main part of the hobbit hole. Fili was up already and was hiding all his weapons again. Bombur was in the kitchen, making breakfast, and Thorin was at the table penning something. Dawn was creeping over the horizon, revealing how late we slept in. Fili finished and smirked at me. I opened the large round door and stepped out into the cold spring air. Dew was making everything we stepped on slick. Fili actually landed in one of Bilbo's flowerbeds, smashing all of his petunias. I pulled him out of the dirt and we ran out of his yard.

"Do you think the hobbit will come," Fili asked. "Maybe... He would need a good shove out the door though!" Fili smirked and looked sideways at me. "We could give him that shove..." "Nah, besides, Thorin wants to leave pretty soon. Any idea who we could get sixteen ponies from?" Fili shook his head. "Not a clue. Why don't you ask that lass over there," He said, pointing to a fairly good looking hobbit lass letting out her family's chickens for the day. I stopped dead in my tracks and stared at her. "Why can't you," I asked, shoving Fili towards her gate. He turned around, grabbed my arm, and held me in a chicken wing. "Because you look less threatening." Fili shoved me through the gate and I thankfully didn't land in her flowers. She looked up from her task and smiled. "Terribly sorry mum," I said, getting up and brushing myself off. I glared a dagger or two at Fili, who was smirking at me behind the gate. "I'm new to the area and I was wondering if you could tell me where I might be able to acquire some ponies." The lass set down her pail and set her hands on her hips. "I might," She said. "Where might that be," I asked, taking a step forward. "Stop right there you rascal," Someone said from the hill- I mean hobbit hole. A rather large hobbit was staring at me, a shovel held in his hands offensively. "You take another step towards me daugh'er, and you'll get what's comin' towards ya!" I took a step towards him as I explained. "I was just asking where I might find-" "One more step and I'm calling Goosey," He yelled threateningly. I looked at him, confused. "Goosey," I asked. "Who's that?" The hobbit frowned and took a deep breath. "GOOSEY," He yelled. "COME HERE, I HAVES A TREAT FORS YA!!!" Something honked on top of the hill by the tree. A goose raised it's pure white head, a huge orange knob on it's head inbetween it's eyes bobbed in the pre dawn light. It stood up and looked right at me. "Run KILI," Fili yelled from by the gate. I tripped over the grass I was standing on and fell on my rear again, but that didn't keep me from scrabbling backwards still. The pure white goose was running down the hill, it's wings flapping like mad, honking like mad too. I rolled over and jumped to my feet. "Oh no ya don't," The hobbit yelled. He was in between myself and the gate. "Goosey's gonna have herself a snackie! That 'ill teach you to mess with me daugh'er! GET 'IM GOOSEY!" I rolled out of the way as the goose lunged towards me. It rolled into the hobbit's legs and righted it's self as I dashed over the hobbit's garden, making sure not to step on any plants. If there's one thing that a hobbit protects more then their daughter, it's their daisies. The goose was right behind me when I made the last effort to escape the garden of terror. I jumped over the fence and rolled to a stop on the path outside of the garden. The goose slid to a halt and honked one more time at me. The hobbit sniffed at me, turned to his daughter and lead her inside. "That went well," Fili said. I looked towards the sky and saw his bright face, trying in vain to hide a big grin. I elbowed his foot and got myself up as he held his 'injured' foot. "Quit being such a baby," I said as I brushed myself off. My stomach roared as I belched, Fili burst into a round of laughing. "Let's get back to the hobbit hole," Fili said, punching my shoulder as he ran past. He turned around and bounced backwards. "Maybe Thorin made a decent meal for once!" I chuckled and followed Fili back to Bilbo's abode. We went inside to find everyone else awake, everyone but Bilbo, who was on the couch sound asleep. "Did you find the ponies," Thorin asked as we sat down. I glanced at Fili and shoved some bread into my mouth. Neither of us had to answer. "I bought sixteen ponies yesterday Thorin," Gandalf said from his normal spot on the wall. Thorin came into view with two large platters of food and set them down in front of Fili and I. "You mean I had to get maimed by that goose for nothing," I hollered. Everyone cracked up, and even Thorin gave a little smirk. I tossed a thumb back at the hobbit snoring softly on the couch. "What are we going to do about him," I asked. "I will stay behind and urge him one last time," Gandalf said before Thorin could say what he was going to. He growled and sunk into a chair. What ever his idea was, it must have been good!

"Welcome aboard, Master Hobbit," Balin said. Bilbo shifted uncomfortably next to the pony Balin was riding. Thorin turned back around in his saddle. "Get him a pony," He shouted. Bilbo looked horrified at Thorin, then back at Balin. I looked over at Fili, who smirked back. We rode silently up near the hobbit as the company started to move again. "That won't be necessary," Bilbo stammered. "I've had many a walking holiday before and- AH!" Fili and I lifted the surprisingly light hobbit up and set him on the spare pony we had. He sat stiff on the saddle and clutched the leather like it was a branch in a raging river. I laughed, scaring the hobbit. "Don't worry, it won't eat the fuzz off your feet," I said, slapping him on the back. "Her name's Myrtle, by the way." I slowed my steed so Bilbo could ride ahead again and I could ride side by side with Fili. We hadn't even been moving for five minuets when the hobbit called out. "Wait, stop! We must head back!" "What's the matter now," Dwalin asked. "I have forgotten my handkerchief," Bilbo mused. Bofur and Gloin shared a look, ripped off part of Bofur's tunic and threw it at the disgusted hobbit. "Move on," Thorin called from ahead. As Bilbo looked at the cloth, he sneezed again. A few minuets later, Gandalf joined us on a horse, and had Bilbo's hankies.

When we camped for the night, just outside of Hobbiton, Bilbo was frantic. He fell off the pony he was riding when she stopped, tripped over a rock that everyone else was able to avoid, and ran into a tree. "The wild is out to get me," Bilbo yelled as he pulled the pine needles from his curly hair. "Then maybe you should have first watch," Thorin growled by where we tied the ponies up for the night. I glanced at Fili, we had watch tonight. Maybe the hobbit could take it? "You and the lads can get acquainted. Bombur, when's that stew going to be ready?" My face fell, as did Fili's. Still stuck with watch. "Any minuet now Thorin," Bombur called from the fire. He pulled a ladle up to his mouth and took a sip. "Correction, it's done now." Something rumbled by Thorin, I suspected it was his stomach. I chuckled as I pulled out my bowl from my sack. I walked over to the stew pot and dipped my bowl, scooping out a large portion. I sat on a large stone, the same that the hobbit tripped over, and tucked into my food. Fili walked over, saw me sitting on the stone, nudged me off with a kick and sat on the stone. I luckily didn't spill any of my food. Thorin looked over and frowned at us. "You two behave," He growled. "Yes Thorin," We mumbled. Bilbo looked over at us, confusion written in the furrowed brows and smirk on his face. He sat down in front of me and sighed. "So, you two are trouble makers," He asked. I snorted into my stew, spraying my face with hot liquid. "Not really," Fili said, playing with his mustache. "More like trouble finds us," I said, remembering something we told someone a few years ago. "Why do you ask hobbit?" Bilbo shrugged and ate some of his stew. "Just wanting to get to know who I will be traveling with," Bilbo said with another smirk on his face. "Remind me who everyone is please. Their names are avoiding me at the moment." Fili set down his empty bowl. "Okay," He said with a toss of his head. "I'm Fili, he's Kili," He tossed his thumb at me. I smiled and raised my hand in greeting. Fili pointed to Bofur, who was sitting on a log with Bifur. "The one with the floppy hat is Floppy," Fili continued. "That's his brother Shiny. Their cousin is the cook, Cracker." "Is he the one with the chin showing through his beard," Bilbo asked. Fili nodded and cast a glance at me. I couldn't believe that the hobbit actually thought that we were telling him everyone's names! Fili looked around the makeshift camp, looking for everyone else. He spotted Dwalin and Balin talking on another log near the tree line. "The one with the bald head is Baldi," Fili continued. I snorted, turned it into a cough, and the hobbit didn't know any wiser. "That's his brother with the long white beard that's forked at the end. His name's Balin." What, you thought that we would insult a dwarrow that we respect? Never! "The red head with the pointy hair, do you see him?" Bilbo looked around after putting down his food bowl, which was now empty. "You mean the one with the three points on his head," Bilbo asked. Fili nodded again. How he could keep a straight face through out this, I would never find out. I was doing everything I could to keep from laughing my guts out. "That's Pointy, his older brother with the braids all over his head, that's Henny. The other read head with the notebook and knitted gloves is...... What's his name again Kee?" "Wasn't it Knitty," I asked, trying even harder to keep from laughing. I had an idiotic grin stuck to my face, but that was it thankfully. Fili nodded again. "That's Knitty with the notebook. The last red head, over by the fire, that's Smithy, and his brother's the one with the ear trumpet. That's Eary. Are we missing anyone?" I looked up at Fili with a look that asked 'Aren't you forgetting something?' Fili snapped his fingers. "Okay hobbit, the last of our company is the one over there," He said, pointing to the fire. Thorin was reading a map again, plotting our course no doubt. "Right, he was a something Oakenshield," Bilbo said, waving his hand in a circle. "Grumpin Oakenshield," Fili said, but that was it for me. I fell over in a fit of giggles. Bilbo thankfully paid me no mind. He looked at Fili in disbelief. "Grumpin, who in their right mind would name someone Grumpin," Bilbo asked. Fili shrugged. "Beats me," He said, his skin under his beard turning red, not just from the firelight. Huh, so he was having trouble holding back his laughter! "Well, I'm going to get some more, if there's anything left," Bilbo said getting up. He turned around and walked towards Bombur, who was still at the stew pot. "Cracker, could you please let me have the ladle," Bilbo asked politely. Bombur paid him no mind. The hobbit shrugged and dipped his bowl into the pot, getting some more stew. As Bilbo walked past Thorin, he said a greeting. " Good Evening Grumpin," He said kindly. Thorin frowned and looked up at the hobbit, who was walking back towards us without a worry on his mind. "What did you call me," Thorin asked, getting up. Bilbo frowned and turned around. "I just said Good Evening, Mr Oakenshield," Bilbo said, a little more then befuddled. I slapped Fili's arm. "I think it's time to make ourselves scarce," I whispered. Fili nodded and we stood up. We were up the two pines quicker then a squirrel. "No you called me something, what was it," Thorin pressed, wagging a finger at the frightened hobbit. Bilbo stammered. "I-I c-called you by y-your name, Mr Oakenshield." Thorin frowned at Bilbo. "My name isn't Grumpin," He growled. "Who told you-" Thorin let out a very noisy sigh and flexed his hands as if he were ringing something, or someone's neck. "FILI AND KILI, MAKE YOUR SELVES SEEN BEFORE I MAKE YOU A PORCUPINE," He bellowed. I fell out of the tree laughing so hard, Fili was barely able to climb down he was laughing so hard. Bilbo was back on the rock, silently eating his stew, throwing a furious glance at us. Thorin was glaring ice at us. "Yes Uncle Grumpin," I asked, cracking at the end. Thorin's glare intensified so Fili and I stood erect, silenced our giggles and attempted to look Thorin in the eye. "Very funny," Thorin growled, ice and fury leaking out through his voice. Our giggles disappeared and all our attention was on Thorin. "If I didn't promise Dis that nothing would harm you, I would this second! You two have pony watch for the next week-" "Thorin!" We shouted. "Two weeks. Hop to it!" Thorin stalked back to the fire. "Come now Thorin," Gandalf said from his stump. "That's a little harsh is it not?" Thorin sat back down. "It's time they were Dwarrow, not dwarflings," Thorin growled. I growled and kicked a twig that was by my foot. It went flying through the air and stuck it's self in Thorin's hair. I sat down quicker then I though possible. Thorin didn't notice either, so I hoped I was safe. Nobody ratted on me, so I thankfully was. I crawled over to the pine tree that I had climbed up and leaned against it. It happened to be near Bilbo's rock. Bilbo set down his food and looked at me. "Yes hobbit," I asked. Fili sat down in between Bilbo and I, glancing at both of us. Bilbo opened his mouth, shut it again, took a deep breath, opened his mouth again, growled and pointed at me. "You had it coming," He growled at last. Fili and I chuckled. "Don't regret it though, not one second of it!" Bilbo chuckled.

please ignore the Point of View change

"Are you sure hobbit," Kili asked. "Thorin's going to want everyone well rested so we can move-" "I'm sure Kili," I said again. "I can't sleep, so I'll take watch with Floppy- I mean Bofur!" Fili and Kili smirked, but I guaranteed that they wouldn't be smirking for long. I actually needed Bofur's help to make that happen. They grabbed their bed rolls from their sacks and the blonde rolled them out. Kili walked over and kicked Bofur in the back, jostling him awake. They spoke a while in their stony language that sounded more like rocks on ice then anything, before Bofur sat up with a yawn and Kili went to his roll. Bofur got up and sat next to me. " 'Ello hobbit, Kili said you couldn't sleep," Bofur said cheerfully. I shrugged. "Tha's alrigh', first time out on the road, correct?" I nodded and flexed my toes. Bofur stuck his pipe in his mouth and slapped my back. "You'll get used to it soon enough!" I looked up at him. "Maybe," I said ruefully. "I need some help actually." Bofur looked at me, so I continued. "I need to get back at Fili and Kili, mostly Kili." Bofur smiled and shifted his pipe to one side of his mouth. "Why mostly Kili," He asked. I shrugged and grabbed a stick by my toe. "He made a fool of me and said he didn't regret one second of it," I growled. "Nobody makes a fool of a Baggins, or a Took for that matter. I want to get him back, but I don't know how." I wasn't sure why I felt I needed to get back at the poor dwarrow, maybe it was my Took coming out again. Bofur adjusted his hat and pursed his lips as he thought. Smoke poured out of his pipe and out of his mouth for a few minuets before Bofur spoke. Bofur scared the wits out of me as he chuckled. "Pepper," He said at last. I frowned at him as I drove my stick into the ground. "What good would that do," I asked, gripping the stick with my toes. Bofur chuckled again. "Kili's very allergic to pepper. One time I-" "Where does Cracker-BOMBUR! Where does Bombur keep his spices?" "Where else," Bofur asked. With a shake of his head, he pointed to Bombur. It took a good long stare, but I found where Bombur kept his spices. On his belt, which he never took off. "Ye know hobbit," Bofur started, but I held out a finger to him. "I am going to get that pepper, and give Kili what he deserves. Don't. Make. A sound." I got to my feet and stepped around my sack. I crouched down next to Bombur and assessed my plan. It was to take off his belt, use what I needed and put it back on, but seeing that the spice containers were removable, that plan was abandoned. Also, upon closer examination, I wouldn't of been able to remove, much less put on, the belt. "Hobbit," Bofur hissed, I paid him no mind. I heard him slap his pants as he gave up trying to get my attention. If it was important, he would have persisted. I searched his belt for the pepper, and found it almost underneath him. I just hoped he would roll over when I grabbed it. Then I realized something. "Will he wake," I hissed back. "What," Bofur hissed back. "Will Bombur wake up when I pull on his belt," I hissed louder. Bofur snorted. "He wouldn't wake up even if ye yelled in 'is ear!" I turned back to Bombur and reached for his belt again. "Ye really-" I glared at Bofur, who went silent. I snatched the pepper off Bombur's belt and tensed as he shifted. When he didn't' wake, I let out a sigh of relief. I slunk back over to Bofur, who was silently chuckling to himself. I chuckled and held up the pepper. Bofur's chuckles intensified as he held up his own pepper. My smirk disappeared and I stared blankly at Bofur. "I tried to tell ye, but ye were so intent on grabbing Bombur's..." Bofur shook his head again with another chuckle. I threw the pepper in my hand over my shoulder and grabbed Bofur's pepper. I stood back up and went over to Kili bed roll. surprisingly, he wasn't in it, more like to the side of it. It didn't' bother me too much, seeing as it made my job more easy. If only Thorin hadn't slept right next to Kili. I didn't know how heavy a sleeper he was, and I didn't want to find out. I stepped onto Kili's bed roll, scurried over to his bags and grabbed the coat that was sitting on top. It was a very startling blue, hemmed with silver. I grabbed the hood, flipped it inside out and dumped the pepper all over it. When I felt my own nose tickle, I figured that would be enough incentive for Kili. I laid it back on his sack and crawled back to Bofur. "Be sure not to keep anything on ye," Bofur reminded. I dropped the pepper container. "Right." I yawned. Bofur chuckled again. "Get some sleep. Ye might need to make a mad dash back to yer hole." I frowned at him. "Why?" "Durin's have a nasty temper. Kili as far as I know, doesn't have it, but he might." I blinked a few times with another yawn. "Okay," I mumbled. I pulled out a blanket from my sack and laid it next to Bofur's empty roll. It happened to be on a huge tree root, but there wasn't another empty spot. Getting as comfortable as I could with the root digging into my back, I shut my eyes.

I was the first one up, and the only reason that I woke up was because Fili prodded me awake. "Hobbit, please wake up," He urged. I opened my eyes and sat up. "Thank the stars. Thorin wants you to gather the ponies while Bombur makes some food." I rubbed my eyes and looked around. Bombur was up and at the stew pot again, Gandalf and Thorin talking quietly on the other side of the camp. Everyone else was snoring softly. Fili pulled me to my feet and slapped my shoulders. "Thorin said I had to help you, and I would rather not miss breakfast, so how about we get a move on, hum?" I yawned again as I rolled up my blanket. "Kili'll take care of that hobbit, we just need to take care of the ponies before- oh dear, here he comes." I looked up from rolling my blanket up to find Thorin stalking towards us, a glare on his face. He stopped three feet from Fili and looked at him, glancing every now and then at me. "Why did you wake the hobbit," He asked, thoroughly annoyed. Fili looked at his boots, which were scuffing the dirt underneath him. "I told you to have Kili help you." Fili looked up and attempted to match Thorin's stare. "He had another one last night, and it kept him up," Fili defended. "I figured that he could use the sleep more then anyone else. I rather like my limbs though, so I wouldn't dare wake anyone else." Thorin growled. "I don't mind that you woke up the hobbit to let Kili sleep," Thorin said, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Just next time, make sure that I know ahead of time." Thorin lowered his voice. "Do you know what it was about?" "The usual, I think. Kee sort of mumbled it." Thorin sighed and looked Fili in the eye. "Keep a close eye on him today." Thorin noticed that I was standing there, and scowled at me. "Don't you have something to do?" I dropped the blanket I had in my hand, the malice in his voice was terrifying. "Er, yes," I stammered. "It's just that I erhm, was waiting for Fili to finish talking with you G-Thorin." Thorin glared at me a little longer then I would have liked and trudged back to Gandalf. How I was going to survive the next week, I had no idea. I picked up my blanket and rolled it back up. "Had another what," I asked Fili as I put the blanket into my sack. "Humwhat," Fili asked. "Kili had another what," I asked again. Fili cracked his knuckles and walked up next to me. "Nightmare," He said in my ear, startling me. Have the dwarves ever heard of personal space?! He smirked at me and gestured to my sack. "Why are you packing if you don't even have somewhere to stow that?" I looked down to my pack and nudged it with my foot. "Well, we could have to go at a moments notice, and I don't want to be the reason for everyone being eaten alive because my things weren't packed." Someone growled behind me, it happened to be Dwalin. "You could learn a few things from the hobbit Fili," He grumbled as he sat up. With another yawn and a shake of his head, Dwalin was up and tugging on Balin's beard, attempting to get him up. Balin, who was snoring two seconds ago, grabbed his sword and swung it towards Dwalin, who aptly jumped over it. "Let go brother," Balin growled. Dwalin released the white beard and folded his arms. Balin sat up and frowned at Dwalin, but there was mirth in his eyes. Fili slapped my back again. "Do you want on Thorin's bad side again," Fili asked. I shook my head and gestured for Fili to lead the way to...where ever we were going. Turns out, it wasn't far, and it wasn't too hard. Fili lead me over a few sleeping dwarrow the Ri family I believe, and I found myself in a small clearing. All the sixteen ponies were accounted for, and Gandalf's horse too. All the saddles were stacked by a large willow tree, and a small creek ran on the other side of the clearing. Fili walked over to Gandalf's horse and clapped his hands at him, shouting something. The horse looked at Fili and got up. Fili moved over to his head and rubbed his neck, scratched behind his ear and so forth. "Hobbit, hand me the largest saddle, I think Kili put it on a branch," He said loudly over his shoulder. I walked over to the saddles and looked at them. They all looked the same... "Hurry hobbit," Fili hissed again. On a rather high branch sat a saddle, one that had a larger seating area then the rest. I reached up and pulled it off the branch. It happened to be heaver then I thought it would be, so I dropped it...on my toes... I inhaled loudly and hissed, pulling out my foot and swinging it as I did so. I leaned down and picked up the saddle, this time prepared for it's weight. I waddled, yes waddled, over to Fili, who picked up the saddle with ease and flung it onto the horse. "What took so long," Fili asked, looked sideways at me. I frowned at him. "I'm short. That's heavy, and my toes are unprotected-something just hit my head!" Fili snorted and looked up as he pulled on the strap for the saddle. "It's going to rain soon," He said absently. "I suggest that we hurry up." Thankfully, the rest of the saddles and ponies were much easier. We were done within the hour, I think. We lead the ponies and horse back to where we had slept and I found that everyone was up already. And they were eating without us. My stomach roared, and everyone looked at me. "Someone's hungry," Kili said with a smirk. I rolled my eyes and tied up the pony's to a tree. "You two can eat on the road," Thorin said, putting his bowl in his sack. He frowned and rifled through his sack a little more. "Where's my cloak," He asked, looking around the camp. "Oh," Kili said, getting up suddenly. "I knew I was forgetting something." He went over to his own pack and pulled out the blue cloak I had dumped pepper on. My eyes widened and I looked at Bofur. He was equally surprised. I prayed that it wouldn't rain. "I borrowed it last night, got a little cold." Kili handed the cloak to Thorin, who was frowning at Kili, but you could see that he wasn't really mad at him, more annoyed. Thorin clasped the cloak to his neck and went to his pony, as did most everyone else. Bombur and Gandalf stayed by the stew pot. "How do you get on," I asked. Everyone chuckled. "Watch me hobbit," Kili said. He turned towards the pony and put his right foot in the hangy down thing, I think Fili said it was a stirrup earlier. He grabbed the horn like thing on top of the saddle and pulled himself up. "Okay, don't watch me," Kili said. He had gotten up backwards. Everyone chuckled. Kili slid back down and put his left foot in the stirrup. This time he pulled himself up the right way. I looked at the pony I was going to ride. She seemed fairly gentle. I grabbed the horn, put my left foot in the stirrup and pulled myself up. I flung my other leg over the saddle and sat on it. "You did it," Fili shouted, almost in disbelief. "Very nice job Bilbo," Gandalf said, handing me a bowl of food. It was cool, but still very good. We got in two lines, side by side, I happened to be next to Ori, behind Fili and Kili. We left the forest and found ourselves in a field, covered in fog. We trotted down the path for a while, until it started to rain. Everyone pulled up their hoods, I watched in horror as Thorin pulled his hood over his face. He sneezed once, twice, thrice, stopped and looked back at Fili and Kili, who were right behind him. He sneezed again as he turned his pony towards them. "Kil*SNEEZE* Kili, what in *SNEEZE* Durin's name did yo*SNEEZE* you do to my *SNEEZE* cl*SNEEZE* cloak," He sneezed. Fili and Kili were laughing their heads off, I was surprised that they weren't falling off their ponies. I tried to hide in my coat, but I couldn't. "I didn't do anything Thorin," Kili managed to chortle out. Thorin sneezed again, launching Fili and Kili into another round of laughter. "Something *SNEEZE* is making me *SNEEZE* sneeze like this, *SNEEZE* if you don't *SNEEZE* find out what it *SNEEZE* is-" "I did it," I yelled. "I thought it was Kili's cloak and dumped pepper in the hood. Look, I'm really sorry-" One sharp glare from Thorin shut me up. Thorin took off his hood and let his hair get drenched in the rain. A few more hours past, with Kili and Bofur re-enacting Thorin's sneezing. Everyone got bored with that, so we tossed around a fairly large apple Kili found. "Hey hobbit," Bofur called. I turned around and got an apple to the face. It landed in my lap as everyone laughed. "Hobbit, I'm open," Ori called. "Over here hobbit," Nori called, farther back. "Mr Boggins," Kili called. I turned towards Kili and threw the apple at his head. He ducked and it hit Thorin's back. He happened to be passing over a small hobbit bridge without rails, and must of been shifting in his seat or something, because he fell off the saddle, and into the creek. I stared at where Thorin disappeared into the fog. I heard the splash, the gasp, and a bunch of yelling. Thorin's head appeared in the fog, his hair was sticking to his face from the water. He spat the water out of his mouth and looked up at the company, specifically at me. He started yelling at me in his stony language, Fili and Kili who were laughing moments ago, where now flinching at what Thorin was saying. "Hey, hobbit, you might want to start running," Fili said as Thorin's head disappeared in the fog again as he slipped in the water. I blinked at him. "What did he say," I dared to ask. "He's going to kill you with your own hair," Kili mumbled. "Something along the lines of that. Best to get going hobbit." I didn't even have to move a finger. Something grabbed my shoulders and lifted me out of my saddle. I watched as the ground dropped out from under me. Twenty feet, thirty feet, still climbing. I had climbed many trees in my youth, but never this high. I yelled out and kicked at the air, drawing eyes. Ori Kili and Fili looked up and gaped. They yelled out as they faded in the fog. My hands flew to whatever was holding my shoulders still, and I felt scales, like what I would find on a chicken's legs. I looked up and at first saw nothing. Then I saw feathers, white feathers. I yelled out again, and the beast that was carrying me looked down. The ceature's head was like an eagle's, only it was brown and huge. It's left eye was green, it's right blue. It had a beak, on it's chest was a leather strap that was starting to shred from age. "Put me down," I screamed. The ceature's eyes narrowed and it opened it's maw. A shrill and cold shriek bellowed from it's maw, right into my face. It's talons let go and I dropped a few feet, I couldn't tell how far I dropped because of the fog. I screamed as I fell, twirling top over bottom as I fell. The creature grabbed my left foot, stopping my fall abruptly, also sending pain up my leg. We continued to descend until I could reach down and touch the ground. The creature reared up, landed, and set me down under it's paw, though it didn't squish me. "What did you find there girl," Someone asked. It was a female someone, and her boots were right in front of my face. "Good grief, is it still alive?" "Yes I'm alive," I yelled into the dirt. "Get this thing off me!" The female leaned down until I could see her knee. She rubbed my head and pulled at one of the talons on my back. "Now now, there's no need to start calling names hobbit," The lady cooed. She stood up again, ruffling the creature's leg feathers on the way up. "Lakita, take him back where you found him. We don't catch hobbits, especially nicely dressed, soaking hobbits." The creature cooed at her. "Now I mean it girl, take the hobbit back where you found him, gently! We don't want another restraining order." I was picked up around my middle and lifted into the sky again. I curled into the fetal position, as much as I could with something holding my torso. I shut my eyes and held behind my knees, pulling them as close as I could. The creature let go of me and panic surged. I yelled out for a split second as I was dropped on the ground. "There you are hobbit, we were getting worried," Someone called above me. A warm hand touched my shoulder, pulling me out of my protective ball to see who it was. Oh joy, it was Kili. Fili hopped down from his pony and joined Kili in crouching down next to me. "What happened, we barely saw you get lifted," Fili said. I sat up and shook my self off as I got to my feet. "Not entirely sure," I mumbled. Kili patted me on the back and smirked. "Can't be too bad," He said with a cheeky grin. "Has um....Has Thorin cooled down," I asked shyly. "I like my life a lot and would like to keep it." Kili chuckled and pushed me towards his pony. "The thing is, Thorin doesn't cool down," Fili said, walking towards his pony. "He might simmer for a while but he doesn't forget things like that. Can't be too bad though..." I gulped as I climbed into Kili's saddle.

I poked at the fire with a charred stick. Thorin had given me another night of watch with Fili and Kili. They were watching a bird twitter in a tree, talking to them selves in their language, chuckling every now and then. The darkened sky was darker then ever with clouds, but when the cloud barrier did break, more stars then I could count filled the night sky, giving off a beautiful light. Slowly, everyone fell asleep, starting with Ori, ending with Gandalf, possibly Thorin. I picked up Bombur's frying pan and scrapped the burned on food into the fire again, then set it back by my foot. The forest behind me and fields in front were full of bird's twittering, and other animal noises. Suddenly, they all stopped. Fili and Kili looked up and frowned. "Did you hear that," Kili asked. I looked up from the fire and frowned at him. "Hear what," I asked. "Exactly," Fili said. They stood up and drew their swords. "If anything happens hobbit, sound the alarm." I stood up and looked at them. "What is the alarm," I asked. "Loudly yelling that something's up," Kili said as he rolled his eyes. They stocked into the fields, leaving me to guard the camp. I sat back down and waited for a few minuets. Something started to make my neck itch, so I lifted my hand up to it. I was yanked backwards off the log I was sitting on by my neck, thanks to a very strong arm. "ACK," I yelled. I pulled at the arm around my neck as a hand pushed on the top of my forehead. My foot kicked upwards, throwing the frying pan into the air. It landed in my arm's reach, so I grabbed for it. The owner of the arm turned me so I couldn't get to the frying pan with my arm, but my feet still could. I grabbed it with my toes, lifted it to my hand and pulled my head out of the person's grip. I turned around, grabbed the frying pan with both hands and took a step back from the attacker. Fili and Kili yelled out and tackled the person that attacked me, or Kili did. They fought on the ground, abandoning their weapons. I took a few deep breaths as I lowered the frying pan. "Are they wrestling," I asked. Twice now, Kili had a chance to knock out who ever that was, and he didn't. "More like an extreme wrestling," Thorin said behind me, startling me. He was up and looked at the two rolling on the ground, a miffed expression on his face. "GET OFF ME," Kili yelled, waking everyone else up. The figure was sitting on top of Kili, a smug smile on her face. "Not until you apologize for knocking me over," She yelled. Kili squirmed under her, until she rocked back and forth on him. "OKAY, I'M SORRY FOR KNOCKING YOU OVER," Kili yelled, waking up Oin and Bombur. The person got off Kili and helped him up, then embraced him with a huge hug. Kili wiggled out and the person looked around. "Well," She said. "That was rather unexpected." "What was unexpected was that you choked me," I yelled. "How is that a way to greet someone?!" Fili and Kili chuckled. "That's her special way of greeting," Fili said, throwing an arm around the lady. "What is she doing here," Dwalin growled, right behind me. Sensing that an argument was coming, I backed away and watched from over by Gandalf. The lady smirked and set her hands on her hips. "I'm here, the same reason as you Dwalin," She growled. Dwalin snorted. I leaned over to Gandalf. "Do you know who she is," I asked. Gandalf shook his head. "Not a clue, but they have some familiarity with her," He said, pointing to the Durins with his pipe. "Come now Dwalin, Myrin won't do any harm," Balin said standing next to Dwalin. Gandalf stiffened. "Besides, I would have come if I didn't have that accident," Myrin said. She turned to Thorin, her gaze turning steely. "You have some explaining to do," She growled at him. Thorin frowned at her. "What do I have to explain," He asked, matching her tone. She reached into her satchel and pulled out a letter with a Phoenix. She frowned and dug farther into her bag. She pulled out what looked like a wanted poster, but it didn't have a face on it. On it were words in some form of elvish, but I couldn't tell what they said. Dwalin, Balin, Gloin, Oin, Dori, Bofur, Bifur and Bombur hissed as she held it out for everyone to see. Dwalin muttered something in his stony language, supposedly directed at Thorin. Thorin shrugged and said something back. Myrin yelled at him, Fili and Kili watching the exchange with confusion. Everyone else was trying to stay out of it, Balin adding a few things now and then. Myrin walked over and poked Thorin in the chest, threateningly, saying something very slowly. She backed up, gave one more glare at him, and turned around. "There was a hobbit around here," She said. She spotted me and smiled brightly. "There he is! Come here so I can have a look see!" I glanced at Gandalf, hoping he would help me get out of this, but he nodded towards the person. I took a deep breath and walked towards her with my hand out. "Bilbo Baggins-" "Give it a twirl," She said, moving her finger in a circle. I stopped and frowned at her. "What," I asked. She rolled her eyes and smirked. "Give it a twirl hobbit, or do I need to circle you?" "Just do it hobbit, we all had to," Kili said. I glanced over at him, frowned back at Myrin, and gave a twirl. "Not that fast," Myrin yelled. "Try it slower!" I stopped, and started to spin slowly. "Okay, a little faster then that." I spun a little faster. She suddenly grabbed my chin and looked at my face, her purple eyes staring into the depths of mine. One eye squinted at me as she turned my head to the left, then to the right. She let go and backed up, her hand moving to her own chin. Fili and Kili were laughing, so I glared at them. "What's so funny," I asked. "You twirled," Fili said. "You did to," I countered. "No they didn't hobbit," Myrin said, still staring at me. "They did that to make you twirl. Thanks, by the way." Kili nodded and smirked at me. I frowned further at him, making future plans to get back at him. "Your, not quite pot belly, and your strong back suggests that you like to garden, but seeing as your fingers are unnaturally clean, you haven't done it in a while," Myrin began. I stared at her, wondering where she was going with this. "The paper cut on your left index finger indicates that you like to read, along with the other scars from paper cuts on your hands." I shoved my hands into my pockets. "You don't like to be laughed at because you were laughed at when in your youth, possibly an un hobbit young one?" I felt myself nodded, even though I didn't want to tell her anything more. "The dark circles indicates that you haven't slept in a while, or that you have been finding it hard to sleep the past few days, no more then a week without adequate sleep. The wrinkles on your face show that you haven't smiled in a while, so you don't have any young ones of your own, and you don't contact your parents, if they are still alive. Sorry to hear that. Your forearm strength is low, so you haven't held an axe before, unless it was to shop down your yearly wood supply, yet your belt loops are stretched out. Either you have many young hobbits in the Shire that like you, or you tug at them when nervous. The latter, as I see now. Seeing your coat, you are better off then some, but are content with your things. All in all, a fairly good, typical hobbit, though I doubt most would consider traveling with dwarves typical." Myrin smiled at me and held out her hand. "Myrin Flambard, at your service Master Hobbit." I looked up from studying my feet and looked at Myrin. The name couldn't be a coincidence. I took her hand. "You already know my name, but I'm curious at yours," I said. "I know a Flambard, and I'm wondering if he's-" "Named after me," Myrin finished. She let go of my hand and rubbed the back of her head. "Yeah, I saved old Took when Flambard's Da was little, so when he grew up he named his first born after me, but he couldn't quite remember it correctly." "That's all fine and dandy Myrin," Fili said. "But does he have a chance for becoming a Burglar?" Myrin smiled at me, her eye squinting slightly. "That remains to be seen." "Miss Flambard," Gandalf said behind me, once again startling me. "Flamebird," Myrin corrected. "I must of mispronounced it again. It's Flamebird mister..." "Gandalf the Grey. I was simply curious as to where you got yoru first name." "My Amad, where else?" Gandalf's bushy eye brows furrowed as he nodded. "Well, Myrin, it's a beautiful name." "Not that I have a grudge against pleasantries," Bombur interrupted. "But it's almost moon high, and we have to be up at dawn again. I would LIKE to get some sleep!" Bombur curled over in his bed roll. Soon his snores joined the crickets and other wild life. "Well, some people don't change," Myrin said with a bright smile. "Indeed," Dwalin hissed. Myrin glared at Dwalin, Dwalin glared back. This journey just became a whole lot more interesting...

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